Melts my heart

I love this commercial soooooooo much!!! It takes me back to when I was a little girl and my daddy would spend so much quality time with me, just like this dad! Love, love, love it!!!




http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJFJviX-q7E

Sweepstakes entry....

I'm trying to win a sweepstakes prize here and I have to put this up. I got my fingers and toes crossed for this one!

Music to my ears

My sweet little girly girl had her first recital the other day at school. You could tell she was nervous. Afterwards she told her mom she doesn't want to do violin next year. She wants to be in the dance group. *sigh*

I'm hoping her mom makes her stick with violin and not give it up because she was pretty good but you know I'm biased as hell.

I almost blew it!

While driving home today after leaving my primary care doctor's office (I was picking up a sample script) I suddenly remembered I needed to contact my oncologist to ask her could I bump up my chemo date. Yeah mom says try to do it a week before we go *sigh* so I can give myself 7 full days before getting on the plane. Anyways I totally forgot Dollface was in the backseat, listening intently too, I might add.

The convo goes a little something like this:

Me on the phone with the receptionist from the oncologists office.

Me: Hello this is Bunny Brown and I'd like to know if I can move my treatment date up from April 3rd to March 30th because I'm going out of town.

Receptionist: No you cannot go for treatment before your allotted time but you can go after your three weeks are up. So just call the hospital and set up the appointment for whenever you'd like as long as it is not before your three weeks are up.

Me: Ok Thank You very much.

Dollface in the back with THE saddest face in the world.

"You're going out of town?"

Me "D'oh!!"

I totally forgot she was in the car while I was on the phone so I lied and told her nope I'm not going out of town, I just wanted treatment earlier because I didn't want to go the day after my birthday. She was like, "Ooh you lied to your doctor, that wasn't nice."

I almost blew the damn surprise!!!

Only two more weeks left before we're outta here!!

Dollface

Dollface saw my hair, or lack of today and almost threw up! Honestly she gagged at first.

She told me with her beautiful brown eyes that she doesn't like it.

I told her I don't either.

She almost cried when she saw me then she said, "Can I come and spend the night at your house tomorrow?"

Yep eventhough I'm bald that kid still loves me.

I am not my hair

I did it. I got it all chopped off and when I looked at myself in the mirror I was horrified!!!!!! I am so not digging this shit at all!!!!! I truly have to marinate on this ish. This is stupid, I swear it is!!! This stuff will grow back and they have countless amounts of wigs and stuff to wear but ooh chile, it's hard as hell!!! *fighting back the tears*

Mom hasn't seen me yet. But I know she is going to freak out because I sure did!!!

Dollface wanted to come over today just to see because I told her yesterday so she wouldn't be in shock the next time she sees me.

Nothing prepares you for seeing yourself bald.

NOT A DAMN THING IN THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!

Simply amazing

Dang man I want a massage every week!!!!!!! I mean that was the best 55 minutes of my life LOL!!! AND it was free too!!!!!!! I'm so grateful for this cancer treatment center. They offer so much to us and everyone is so kind. I'm really loving this.

So I am still having a http://www.reiki.org/faq/WhatIsReiki.html Reiki treatment next week too. I thought this massage was in place of but not so. It was always scheduled for next week. The spot for the massage just came open and I grabbed it up baby!!!

I also got a lovely bouquet of daffodils today from them sponsored by The American cancer Society. Remember I'm not supposed to put that word in caps, gives it too much power.

Crazy, Sexy, cancer http://crazysexylife.com/ juicy Kris even spells it canser.

I don't know. I just hate the word altogether however the hell it's spelled ya know?

I'm feeling better today not 100% but much better. That massage helped me immensely!!

The hair gets chopped off tomorrow. Pics to come, based on how I feel about it!!!!

Thank you so much for the continuous prayers!

I'm blessed because of them and yall!!!

Cycle two is getting to me

Round two of chemo has really taken a toll on me. I'm quite achey all over and the cramps come and go in my hands. My stomach has been flip flopping and lawdhamercy the hot flashes!!!!!!! I just can't get over I have to do this 4 more times though. Damn!!!!

I'm keeping up with the side effects, writing them down and watching how many days it takes for me to feel like me again because believe it or not I'm scheduled for chemo again 3 days before we leave for Dis.ney.

I seriously am thinking about putting it off until we get back but when we get back it will be Good Friday and I don't want to be sick for Easter. That would suck. I don't know I gotta talk to the OD (oncology doc) she doesn't even know I scheduled a trip during this treatment. *Uh oh*

I know I should have consulted her beforehand but I knew I wasn't going to let Dollface's clean up week *total old school* go by without me taking her there. I just couldn't do it!!!!!! I need a vacation and so does she and we're going and I'll have to re-register at the hospital because it kicks you out of the system after 28 days without coming and it will be more than 28 days. Four weeks without poison I think I can handle that. Let's just hope my body and this crap floating through it can handle that too!!!

I wish I could explain how awful the feeling is going through chemo because I'm asked all the time and I honestly don't know how to accurately explain how fucking insane it is. To me it feels as if my good cells are just being scraped the hell out of my body and just ground up into little bits and sucked out of my pores.

I taste chemo ALL THE TIME. I feel like I smell like chemo ALL THE TIME. I know I don't but I just FEEL like it. *shrugs shoulders*

My hair is just awful and I'm getting it all cut off on Thursday. I'm bald in spots already and it just falls out without me doing anything so it's a done deal. *BIG SIGH*

I AM NOT MY HAIR!!!!!!!!! *yeah right*

I can't believe how bad it looks. So not cute, not cute at all. No way around that one, none at all!!! And the scalp is tender, tender, tender and so sore to the touch. Unbelieveable man!!!

This week I've had this sort of piercing in my left breast and my breath is kinda short. Like a heaviness in my chest that goes all the way to my back. Not really heavy laboring but it takes my breath away some times like my bronchial tubes are being infected or filled with smoke. It just doesn't feel good at all!!!!!!!!!

I lost about 26lbs last treatment go round but as soon as I started eating I gained most of it back. This time the same thing is happening. I'm down 10lbs and it's been 4 days so far.

I make myself get up and get outta here everyday!!!!!!!! Staying in the bed makes me feel sicker. I can't even be focused on being sick, not me baby!!! I must stay busy doing other things and that makes me feel better.

I've been busy shopping for the Doll, getting her stuff ready for Florida. Making lists of first aid stuff, batteries for the camera and other whatnots to take with us. Yall got any ideas please let me know. I haven't been to Florida in ages and I always overpack when I go on a trip. I'm also still looking for some discounted tickets for the theme parks too.

On a really bright note it was in the 70's here today and Dollface and I were outside enjoying this beautiful sunny day. She was jumping rope and hoola hooping and playing at the playground right after school. Makes me smile all the time!!!!

Tomorrow I have a massage lined up with the hospital for therapy and I am too excited!!!!!!!!!! Today we had the speaker series and the topic was Phytospecific Foods. Quite interesting and I have more information/questions to take back to my oncologist. Especially about the pre and probiotics. You know I was too geeked when those probiotics helped me after I had CDIFF. Now I'm learning that probiotics during chemo treatment might not be too wise. Gotta inquire about this for sure.

I was supposed to have the Reiki treatment but a massage appointment came open so I was asked did I want to take that instead and I'm like oh yeah baby, baby!!!

So now basically I'm just doing a little countdown until our trip. I'm excited and I so can not wait to see that sweet little face light up when we get there. It's going to be the best ever!!!!

Therapy

This week is flying by to me. It's already hump day and soon will be Friday where I head off to get some poison shot up through my body. Whatev, maybe that's why it's seemingly flying by to me. Dreading Friday and I forgot to change the damn day too. *sigh*





I contacted the intergrative therapy department at the local hospitals cancer treatment center. They have so many activities planned that I signed up for and I can't wait to get started. They have a mini spa every 2nd and 4th Wednesday of the month. This month is already booked solid but they put me down for just in case someone cancels.





I am scheduled for a Reiki treatment next week though. I saw this performed on Grey's last season and well I don't think it can hurt me. I'm open for anything so that should be completely interesting.





Also this week I went to a speakers series given at the same hospital. The topic was Genetic testing. It was very informative. I learned more about why you should be tested and other really interesting though challenged facts. I find it quite strange that cancer is not inherited/heredity. It's acquired.

FUCK YOU ACQUIREMENT!!!!!!!!





Yall know how I feel about this ish!!!





They said your parents could have cancer and you could possibly not have it or vice versa and my thinking is, why the hell do you always ask any other family member have cancer on the medical records? It's all for gene sake. All that genetic testing stuff. AND stem cell research will help greatly in possibly CURING (not just treating) but CURING all types of diseases like HIV, Parkinsons, Diabetes and cancer to name a few. So you know I'm all for that baby!!!





While the nurse was speaking a few volunteers came by with therapy dogs and they were so damn cute!!!!!! At first I was like oh boy, you know they say dogs can sense when you're sick and I was wondering what the heck were they gonna do when they came by me.





Well... yep that's the precious pup all up in my arms!!!!!!! So, so sweet I want a puppy!!!!!!

NOT!!!!

I am too lazy for a pet. I can't be cleaning up after no doggies, plus my Dollface has allergies and asthma and that just won't work out.

The therapy dogs will be back in two weeks and I just can't wait because that sweet doggie was just the bestest ever. Made me smile as you can see.

You know what else makes me smile?

Knowing that in a few short weeks we WILL be at the house of the mouse.

Reservations are made and I CAN'T WAIT to see her face when I tell her and when we actually get to the front of Cindy's castle, baby bye!! Pictures galore for sure!!!!!!!

All I have to do now is find some discounted tickets for the Ma.gi.c King.dom and Uni.ver.sal Island.s of Adven. ture. and I'm all good baby, baby!!!!!!!!!

I'm telling you we will probably be eating beans and rice for months to come after this trip but it's gonna be worth it. I know in my heart this is the right time because tomorrow shole ain't promised to nobody. This I know for sure, just like Aunty O LOL!!!

It's happening

I'm losing my hair and it's making me sad. Another round of chemo at the end of the week and I'm sure all of my hair will fall out after that because it's falling out like crazy now.

That is all.

Real quick

This computer had a crazy viru.s on it and I'm just now getting it back. I'm scared to even type in the word so I won't!!!

Doing really good since I last updated. I only felt bad for a couple of days after chemo but now I'm all refreshed and ready to go for cycle two which will be next week. Gotta get a shot this week to boost my red blood cells because of course my count is low. What a surprise right? Anyway that will be this Friday along with the weekly labs.

I spend waaaaaayyyyy too much time at the hospital and that's for sure but whatever it takes LOL!!!

I've gotta go check out my faves, been missing this computer like crazy!!!!