Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Cycle two is getting to me

Round two of chemo has really taken a toll on me. I'm quite achey all over and the cramps come and go in my hands. My stomach has been flip flopping and lawdhamercy the hot flashes!!!!!!! I just can't get over I have to do this 4 more times though. Damn!!!!

I'm keeping up with the side effects, writing them down and watching how many days it takes for me to feel like me again because believe it or not I'm scheduled for chemo again 3 days before we leave for Dis.ney.

I seriously am thinking about putting it off until we get back but when we get back it will be Good Friday and I don't want to be sick for Easter. That would suck. I don't know I gotta talk to the OD (oncology doc) she doesn't even know I scheduled a trip during this treatment. *Uh oh*

I know I should have consulted her beforehand but I knew I wasn't going to let Dollface's clean up week *total old school* go by without me taking her there. I just couldn't do it!!!!!! I need a vacation and so does she and we're going and I'll have to re-register at the hospital because it kicks you out of the system after 28 days without coming and it will be more than 28 days. Four weeks without poison I think I can handle that. Let's just hope my body and this crap floating through it can handle that too!!!

I wish I could explain how awful the feeling is going through chemo because I'm asked all the time and I honestly don't know how to accurately explain how fucking insane it is. To me it feels as if my good cells are just being scraped the hell out of my body and just ground up into little bits and sucked out of my pores.

I taste chemo ALL THE TIME. I feel like I smell like chemo ALL THE TIME. I know I don't but I just FEEL like it. *shrugs shoulders*

My hair is just awful and I'm getting it all cut off on Thursday. I'm bald in spots already and it just falls out without me doing anything so it's a done deal. *BIG SIGH*

I AM NOT MY HAIR!!!!!!!!! *yeah right*

I can't believe how bad it looks. So not cute, not cute at all. No way around that one, none at all!!! And the scalp is tender, tender, tender and so sore to the touch. Unbelieveable man!!!

This week I've had this sort of piercing in my left breast and my breath is kinda short. Like a heaviness in my chest that goes all the way to my back. Not really heavy laboring but it takes my breath away some times like my bronchial tubes are being infected or filled with smoke. It just doesn't feel good at all!!!!!!!!!

I lost about 26lbs last treatment go round but as soon as I started eating I gained most of it back. This time the same thing is happening. I'm down 10lbs and it's been 4 days so far.

I make myself get up and get outta here everyday!!!!!!!! Staying in the bed makes me feel sicker. I can't even be focused on being sick, not me baby!!! I must stay busy doing other things and that makes me feel better.

I've been busy shopping for the Doll, getting her stuff ready for Florida. Making lists of first aid stuff, batteries for the camera and other whatnots to take with us. Yall got any ideas please let me know. I haven't been to Florida in ages and I always overpack when I go on a trip. I'm also still looking for some discounted tickets for the theme parks too.

On a really bright note it was in the 70's here today and Dollface and I were outside enjoying this beautiful sunny day. She was jumping rope and hoola hooping and playing at the playground right after school. Makes me smile all the time!!!!

Tomorrow I have a massage lined up with the hospital for therapy and I am too excited!!!!!!!!!! Today we had the speaker series and the topic was Phytospecific Foods. Quite interesting and I have more information/questions to take back to my oncologist. Especially about the pre and probiotics. You know I was too geeked when those probiotics helped me after I had CDIFF. Now I'm learning that probiotics during chemo treatment might not be too wise. Gotta inquire about this for sure.

I was supposed to have the Reiki treatment but a massage appointment came open so I was asked did I want to take that instead and I'm like oh yeah baby, baby!!!

So now basically I'm just doing a little countdown until our trip. I'm excited and I so can not wait to see that sweet little face light up when we get there. It's going to be the best ever!!!!


  1. You are so amazing!! An inspiration............

  2. @Mwabi, please leave me your URL so I can find you. I had a virus on this computer and lost all my info. Miss you chica!!!!

  3. The thought of tasting Chemo just freaks me out! So, I cannot imagine you going through it. You're a courageous woman.

  4. @Believer ~ Tastes like yuck!!! One of G's friends suggested that I boil some ginger root with a tea bag and drink on that. She said it will take the metallic taste right out of my mouth. Courage, me, bah!!!! I'm the biggest baby cowardly lion around LOL!!!! Just stepping out on faith and doing the dang on thang baby!!!

  5. Don't forget a sun hat and sunblock! AND sun glasses, too! Black may not crack, but it damn sure burns!