Sunday, August 30, 2009

Farmers Market

On Saturday I went to the local farmers market over at Trinity and man I picked up so many goodies!!!!!!!! I bought corn on the cob, eggplant, lemons, collard greens, stringbeans, carrots, brown rice, avocados, organic apples, musk melon, beets and shea butter all for under twenty bucks!!!!!!!! I was hyped!!!!!! I cooked the collard greens already and they are sooooooo yummy!! I guess the freshness really does makes a difference. I used the beets in my juicer this morning along with some carrots, celery and apples. Too delish!!!!!! I can not wait to get back there next weekend! Gonna get some more goodies!!!

Yay me!!!!!!

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Rainy Thursday

My cousin Mike has been having a hard time lately.

He is fighting this cancer bs too!

He was diagnosed about 2 months or so after me with brain cancer and I think he is getting tired. Tired of being readmitted to the hospital. Tired of all these surgeries, tired of not being able to walk at times, tired of the nausea, tired of all the poisonous medicine that is supposed to help kill off the bad cells but hurts the good cells as well.


I'm praying for him constantly and hoping that he doesn't give up, though I understand. Yeah I understand.

It's hard man, it's hard fighting everyday just to live.

Simple things like getting out of the bed seem impossible. Showering, eating or getting dressed is not even a thought.

Mike is so not used to hospitals, doctors or medicine. His religion says to pray and not turn to modern medicine.

His mom, my aunt, died 2 years ago from tumors on her spine. We're not sure if it was cancer or not because she didn't go to the hospital until it was too late.

He is really getting tired. *sigh*

We go to the same hospital for treatment but we have different doctors and different treatment plans.

I don't want him to give up but I know how hard this is.

He stopped eating and the headaches have come back and he doesn't want to get out of bed. He just wants to sleep all day and don't even think about having a conversation. He's starting to nod yes or no. Talking just drains him and trust me Mike is a TALKER!!!!!!!

Not good. Not good at all.

He was admitted again yesterday to the hospital and his wife is gone on a spa trip with my mom. My mom takes a busload of folks up to a spa/casino in Michigan every year.

She needed to get away because being a caregiver, as we all know, is stressful as hell!! She needed this in a bad way!

They will be back tomorrow evening though so I hope and pray that everything will be ok until she returns.

I hate this disease so much!!!!!!!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Can you see my smiling face?

Oh happy day!!!!!!! I got THE most excellent call from the doc today!!!!!!!

Yeah baby my scan came back goooooooooddddddddddd!!!!!!!!

He did not see anything abnormal!!!!!!!!!! Whoo Hoo!!!!!!!

I am sooooooooooooo flippin' happy!!!!!!!!!

I can't stand it!!!!!!!!!!

Instead of 5 weeks of daily radiation, I'm only going to have 3 sessions!!!!!!!!!!!

Whoo Hoooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

God is sooooooooo good!!!!!!!!!!

AND the devil is a damn liar!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep tonight!!

I've been on a high all day long!!!

When I told my mom, she just rocked me and hugged me and cried!!!!!!!!!

This is finally going to be overrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!

Thank You Jesus!!!!!!!!!

I'm doing the happy dance cause I'm soooooooo happy!!!!!!!!!


Thursday, August 20, 2009

A day in my life

Man it can't get any more exposed than this. Today I was at the hospital for them to do some scans of my pelvic area to see what the "plan" will be with radiation. Chile here comes TMI all up in your face LOL!!!

Let's see I started off drinking that nasty ass barium sulfate and no I did not finish the entire bottle. I got about 3/4's down and that was more than enough!!!! Can somebody say yuck!!!!!!!

Got to the hospital and they explained what was gonna go down today. I do believe I flipped out a little but I was in the room by myself for about 5 minutes so I prayed and I calmed the f*ck down. Yeah real talk. My God knows my heart and he ain't mad.

Ok butt ass naked from the waist down and why in the sam hell did the nurse have to stick this giant azz up my cooch?????? You should have seen my eyes. They almost bucked outta my head!!!!!!! The nurse come talkin' bout' don't make her laugh. Shit how bout don't make me haf to cut you!!!!! That foolywang nurse had the nerve to say it wasn't that big. Heffa it ain't going up in YOUR cooch!!!!!!

Yall just don't know my pain!!!!!!!!! Arrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

Not comfortable man, not comfy at all!!!!

I'm on the table, butt azz naked, with the giant stick up my stuff, then the tech has me to move my hips up and down to get centered on the table. Uh, like am I being punked, for real?

I do all that and then they wrap some sorta thing around my feet to keep them in place and give me this foam type of circle thingy to hold onto, over my chest to keep me perfectly still right.

Ok so yeah the tech, male by the way, makes these little marks on my stomach and my hips. I am sooooo hella ticklish and I'm trying sooooooo hard not to giggle and move. Then dude says he's going to have to mark on my vajayjay too.

OH LAWD!!!!!!!!!!!! I rolled my eyes to the heavens and just laughed the fuck out loud!!!!!!!!!

Sure enough 3 hours later I see that x marks the spot!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!

Now that we've become intimate and shit the tech tells me to be perfectly still and that this should only take 20 minutes at the most.

Ok cool. So why in the hell does some strange ass woman roll up in there while I am butt ass naked, stick up my stuff and exposed for the world to see while I am supposed to be completely still?????

You know I wanted to raise the hell up and be like "Who da fuck are you lady? Don't you see my naked butt up here ain't expecting no visitors at the current moment?"

You know I was too mortified but I also know they don't even look at us as bodies, but as "bodies" you know?

Whateverthehell, I just shrugged that shit off and asked my tech after it was all over who in the hell came to the party uninvited? He looked shocked as shit and then said it was a nurse who had to get something in the room. Next time his ass is locking that mofokin' door!!!!!!!!!

Dang can't a sista get a lil bit of privacy up in that joint?

So now my doctor is going to look at my scans and call me in a few days to lay out the real deal and we go from there and how bout he said my treatment just might be all intervag. vs outer pelvic radiation.


I ain't looking forward to that damn stick no time soon!!!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Happy Birthday to Mama Brown

Today is my moms 72nd birthday!!!! She looks good yall! I am so blessed to have her in my life! We celebrated at one of her favorite restaurants earlier today. Chick is mad crazy but I love her to reeses pieces lol!!!!

Happy Birthday mom!!!!! May God continue to pour down abundant blessings on you forever and ever!!!

It's over now

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Random Thursday

Let's just say getting ready for a garage sale is a lot of work. Man, my living and dining rooms look CA-RAAAAAAAZY!!!!!!! Stuff is all over the place. Tomorrow the bff and I will tackle transporting all of this crap, I mean wonderful treasures, out to her home. Yeah we're having it in the boonies where there's plenty o'space for folk to roam around and pick and choose in our bins and bins of crap, I mean goodies!!!!!!!! LOL!!!

Happy Birthday to Shorty Boss. We went out to lunch at Leona's today to celebrate. That girl is so funny and I love her to pieces! We've been friends now for ooh lawd, 35 years. That's a long ass time!!!!! LOL!!!!

Mama Brown told me today that she has a cute bald daughter! LOL!!! Um, I have to agree! LOL!!

I pulled out one of my vintage bags and rocked it today. I recall when I first got this bag back in 91 or 92, I thought I'd die if I didn't get it!!! Begged the granny to buy it for me. *I was such a spoiled heffa* We were on vacay in the Baha.mas. Humph I don't think I carried it 10 times. Maybe I did and just can't remember.

Thinking of selling another one in the garage sale because I never, ever use it. Got that one in the 80's.

I lost or misplaced my checkbook and it's driving me bananas!!!! Can't even remember the last time I saw it. Bills are due now and I'm like tripping because I need to decide if I'm going to close it down and start another one or just say eff it and skip about 20 checks. I think I threw it out with the newspaper by mistake a couple of weeks ago but then again I don't really know.

I love this weather!!!!!!!!! No fifty layers of clothes feels damn good on this brown skin!!!!

Why does she want split pea soup in almost ninety degree weather?

Whatever but you know I'm gonna make it right?

Dang I just remembered I was supposed to stop at the store to buy ingredients for choc. chip/oatmeal cookies. I hate going back out once I'm home! Oh well no cookies for the boys. My bff has 12 year old twin boys that are seemingly bottomless pits. I hope they don't mind. I know, I'll make lem.on instead. De.en is all kinds of wrong for them. OMgosh they totally melt in your mouth. Yummmm!!!!!!!

Ok back to packing up all this junk, and whatever doesn't sell is going straight to SA.

Have a good weekend!

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Awesome weekend with my gurls!!!

OMGosh!!! I had the best time this weekend hanging with the crew! We had a girls weekend up at the lake and my cheeks still hurt from laughing so much!

Got there late Friday evening, watched movies, ate, played games, drank, ate and drank some more and just laughed til the wee hours of the morn.

On Saturday we talked for hours, jammed to music, played cards, ate and drank, *LOL*, got showered and dressed, went to play miniature golf in the blazing sun and got choc-o-riffic in the process. Walked back to the lodge up this steep ass hill, got my exercise in that's for sure, showered again, ate some more, played more games, drank even more *OMG* and crashed on the sofa in the front room. I didn't even make it to my room I was soooooo whipped!

Sunday got up early and went swimming. That was an awesome workout. I haven't been in the pool in a minute and it felt really, really good. Went back to the lodge, showered, ate and no we didn't drink, LOL!!! Packed up and drove back home jamming to music, laughing our asses off the entire ride home.

I so adore my friends!!! We had such a good time that we plan on doing this regularly. Maybe somewhere different next time, or maybe at the lake again because it was beautiful!!! I have to wait for my friend to send me the pics cause of course I left my extra batteries at home and of course my batteries died on me! So I made them take plenty of pics.

I'm crashing early tonight LOL!!!

Thanking God for blessing us with a wonderful weekend, filled with laughter and love!!

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

I hate this disease

Today I went to the hospital for my usual Tuesday, picnic in the park speaker series. We were supposed to have yoga today but the instructor had a funeral to attend. So instead, we played Bingo for dollars and nope I didn't win this time, womp, womp!

One of the usuals that comes to this and my knitting class died this week and I am sooooo sad. She was such a nice lady. She had a real fighting spirit when it came to this dreadful disease. I haven't been to knitting in over a month so I had no clue that she was in the hospital. They said she was in for 10 days and then she went to hospice for two days after that. *sigh*

You guys I don't know how to handle this!!!

When I first met her she told me that when she was first diagnosed the doctors gave her two months. She wasn't tryna hear alla that. Girlfriend fought the good fight for two years more after that bogus ass prognosis.

They don't really know, they just be guesstimating.

Makes me mad and sad all at the same time!!!

I went and spent waaaaayyyyy too much money after that.

Had to do some retail therapy to calm my nerves.

It didn't work.

It's too many people affected by this fuckingfuckedupbullshitdisease!!!

I'm hurtin' right now.

No more pain Ellen, no more pain.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

The Honest Scrap Award

It's the Honest Scrap Award. I was chosen by The rules were for me to:

(1) Brag about it.

(2) Choose seven blogs I find brilliant and link to them.

(3) List 10 honest things about myself.

Well anyone that know me, knows that I HONESTLY don't follow the rules too much. So I thank you Queen Bee but I'mma do this my way. Uh, I am so the rebellious one.

*Singing Bill.y I.dol's, Rebel Yell*

I find a bunch of blogs just by looking at other folks' blogrolls. I have found some really interesting blogs that way and what I find brilliant, funny, cool, crazy and creative, you may not and vice versa, so there.

Ten honest things about myself, hmmmmm let's see.

1~ I am fiercely loyal to my friends. I will cut you wide open if you eff with mine. Real talk.

2~ I love to reeses pieces!!! No for real!!!!

3~ No matter how old I get, I will always wear K-Swiss. That is my all time fav brand!

4 ~ This chick is scurred of the dark. Don't laugh that ish ain't funny!

5~ I believe in giving folks a second chance. It's on you when you mess up for the third time though, cause I'm done! LOL!

6~ I love to laugh, often and loud!!!!

7~ The child that I helped to raise is in jail and that hurts my heart because I can do nothing for him now.

8 ~ I want to believe that I am healed from uterine cancer but in the back of my mind, way, way, way back there, in the deep, dark, pit, in the furthestmost corner of my mind, something keeps telling me, it ain't so and it scares me because I can't get rid of it no matter how hard I try to stay focused on the positive light and goodness of the Lord.

9~ I had a dream last Monday that my dad was calling me and taking me by the hand and I woke up screaming for him to get away from me because I didn't want to go with him. I'm blaming it on the Rum and cranberry drink I had earlier that evening. This was my second drink in almost 7 months. I had a drink when chemo was over and I had a cocktail last week with friends. I was literally shaking and extremely upset when I woke up because I love my dad so, so very much and would love to see him again, just not anytime soon.

10~ This ish was hard as hell and I ain't tagging no freakin' body. If you want to do it, have at it. I told you I was a rebel, no disrespect Queen, it's just how I am.

Tennis, tea and trunk parties

It seems I'm always saying I'm tired. This must stop, so that means I have to get more rest because I am indeed exhausted!!!!

I went to bed really early yesterday too, say pretty much around 9:30 last night and I woke up at 3:00 this morning. Looked around, washed a wall, cleaned the upstairs bathroom, hung up a bunch of clothes, gathered some things together for the garage sale a friend and I are having in a couple of weeks, took off my toenail polish and contemplated life. Ha!!!!!!!

At 6:00am I went back to bed, woke up around 8:00 to Dollface squirming and asking her favorite question of what's for breakfast?

Washed my face, brushed my teeth, fixed our breakfast, ate, checked fb and a couple of emails. Took a shower, got dressed. Packed her bag for her sleepover, grabbed my gift for a trunk party and her dress for her tea party later, got her prepared for tennis. Went to tennis lessons and 10 minutes in, it started raining. Sat there for twenty more minutes until they called it a wash out. Left the courts, drove home, fixed her a quick snack, got her dressed for her party and repacked her bag. Drove 35 minutes out to the burbs for the tea party. Found out we beat the birthday girl there, LOL!!!! Had a wonderful time at the tea party for about 3 hours. Told Dollface she would be having a sleepover with her bff, the birthday girl, after the party was over and everyone was out of earshot, so as not to hurt anyone's feelings. Kissed my babydoll bye. Left there, got some gas and a big cup of coffee then drove 35 minutes back to the city to Dollface's oldest sisters trunk party. Hung out with a bunch o' folk for about two hours. Left there, got in my car, came home and now want to seriously crash!!!!

Church tomorrow and another possible gathering/BBQ/family reunion type of thingy!

Um, I'm tired!!! LOL!!!