Thursday, August 20, 2009

A day in my life

Man it can't get any more exposed than this. Today I was at the hospital for them to do some scans of my pelvic area to see what the "plan" will be with radiation. Chile here comes TMI all up in your face LOL!!!

Let's see I started off drinking that nasty ass barium sulfate and no I did not finish the entire bottle. I got about 3/4's down and that was more than enough!!!! Can somebody say yuck!!!!!!!

Got to the hospital and they explained what was gonna go down today. I do believe I flipped out a little but I was in the room by myself for about 5 minutes so I prayed and I calmed the f*ck down. Yeah real talk. My God knows my heart and he ain't mad.

Ok butt ass naked from the waist down and why in the sam hell did the nurse have to stick this giant azz up my cooch?????? You should have seen my eyes. They almost bucked outta my head!!!!!!! The nurse come talkin' bout' don't make her laugh. Shit how bout don't make me haf to cut you!!!!! That foolywang nurse had the nerve to say it wasn't that big. Heffa it ain't going up in YOUR cooch!!!!!!

Yall just don't know my pain!!!!!!!!! Arrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

Not comfortable man, not comfy at all!!!!

I'm on the table, butt azz naked, with the giant stick up my stuff, then the tech has me to move my hips up and down to get centered on the table. Uh, like am I being punked, for real?

I do all that and then they wrap some sorta thing around my feet to keep them in place and give me this foam type of circle thingy to hold onto, over my chest to keep me perfectly still right.

Ok so yeah the tech, male by the way, makes these little marks on my stomach and my hips. I am sooooo hella ticklish and I'm trying sooooooo hard not to giggle and move. Then dude says he's going to have to mark on my vajayjay too.

OH LAWD!!!!!!!!!!!! I rolled my eyes to the heavens and just laughed the fuck out loud!!!!!!!!!

Sure enough 3 hours later I see that x marks the spot!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!

Now that we've become intimate and shit the tech tells me to be perfectly still and that this should only take 20 minutes at the most.

Ok cool. So why in the hell does some strange ass woman roll up in there while I am butt ass naked, stick up my stuff and exposed for the world to see while I am supposed to be completely still?????

You know I wanted to raise the hell up and be like "Who da fuck are you lady? Don't you see my naked butt up here ain't expecting no visitors at the current moment?"

You know I was too mortified but I also know they don't even look at us as bodies, but as "bodies" you know?

Whateverthehell, I just shrugged that shit off and asked my tech after it was all over who in the hell came to the party uninvited? He looked shocked as shit and then said it was a nurse who had to get something in the room. Next time his ass is locking that mofokin' door!!!!!!!!!

Dang can't a sista get a lil bit of privacy up in that joint?

So now my doctor is going to look at my scans and call me in a few days to lay out the real deal and we go from there and how bout he said my treatment just might be all intervag. vs outer pelvic radiation.


I ain't looking forward to that damn stick no time soon!!!!!!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!


  1. My goodness, that was funny!!! LOL... But hey, let the peeps do what they gott do, even if it means you gotta bend over and spread the world. As long as you get alright, it's all good. Thanks for the laugh, hon!

  2.! That was crazy!

  3. I hope you on the pill or he used a condom...Jus' playin', LOL! I would have told her what ever she needed coulda waited and you were paying for a private room...
    The nerve...

  4. And to think... No foreplay.

    Here's to hoping that whatever the solution is mild and virtually pain free. And uninvasive too.

  5. Yep, just a day in my life!!! I tell ya man I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried!!! I can't wait to see what goes down next! LOL!! Oh yeah I can laugh now, but when it was happening, yeah not so much!