Tuesday, August 4, 2009

I hate this disease

Today I went to the hospital for my usual Tuesday, picnic in the park speaker series. We were supposed to have yoga today but the instructor had a funeral to attend. So instead, we played Bingo for dollars and nope I didn't win this time, womp, womp!

One of the usuals that comes to this and my knitting class died this week and I am sooooo sad. She was such a nice lady. She had a real fighting spirit when it came to this dreadful disease. I haven't been to knitting in over a month so I had no clue that she was in the hospital. They said she was in for 10 days and then she went to hospice for two days after that. *sigh*

You guys I don't know how to handle this!!!

When I first met her she told me that when she was first diagnosed the doctors gave her two months. She wasn't tryna hear alla that. Girlfriend fought the good fight for two years more after that bogus ass prognosis.

They don't really know, they just be guesstimating.

Makes me mad and sad all at the same time!!!

I went and spent waaaaayyyyy too much money after that.

Had to do some retail therapy to calm my nerves.

It didn't work.

It's too many people affected by this fuckingfuckedupbullshitdisease!!!

I'm hurtin' right now.

No more pain Ellen, no more pain.


  1. This news hits home because you're in it and fighting against it also. Ellen was good people, and even in her last months, she gave of herself. It's obvious her life touched yours.

    Please give yourself permission to go “through it.” You're human and God understands!

    Did you see Oprah today? Montel and other celebrities shared their courageous stories while in the midst of life threatening illnesses and what happens next. I cried a few times—it was very moving.

    Montel shares one of his calming techniques with Oprah, Dr. Oz and the audience.
    • Close your eyes.
    • Think back on a wonderful moment in your life.
    • Take two deep breaths.
    • Open your eyes.
    "I go to that place of gratitude," he says. "I go to that place of fulfillment and taking advantage of the small things."

    Love to you girl! Keep hope in your heart!




  2. @Believer I <3 you!!! Thanks for being you and getting me!

  3. If I was as eloquent as Believer, I would have loved to say what was just written! How fantastic to be able to prove people wrong and then go on to make a difference in the lives of others!?
    CNN may not talk about your friend or even your struggle, but believe this, those of us whose lives YOU have touched will continue to support and hold you up.
    Continue to fight and go on living your life.
    Don't make me take out a loan to come to the windy city to meet you, specially cause you can't hold your licker!

  4. Nobody knows when its your time to leave this world but God. Yeah the doctors say all this crap to make a person feel even less of themselves than what they already do. You're already a survivor just by telling us your story. Hang in there.

  5. @Gina~ gurl if you made a trip to the states just to see me your people in Jersey would be all kinds of ticked off!! LOL!! Thanks for the laugh and love. Uh and who said I can't hold my likka? ROFL!!!!!
    @Queen ~ I'm hanging in there!!! Your words are the sho' nuff truf!!!!
    @Mwabi ~ Awwwwww you know I loves you too!!!!