Monday Monday

Thanksgiving is over now I need to start acting like it and stop eating all of this food!!!! I have been eating our leftovers everyday since Turkey day. Man we had such a good dinner. We had turkey, dressing, mac-n-cheese, ham, bbq wing dings, lasagna, candied sweets, collards and cabbage mixed, green beans, mashed potatoes, dinner rolls, lemon supreme pie, cherry pie and lemon blossoms. A couple bottles of wine and baby bye, dinner was delish!!!!!!

Tomorrow I start the prep for my colonoscopy scheduled for Wed. Let's see how I get through this one. Can I please not have anymore tests for a while Lord? Please. I can not wait for 2009 to be over. This has been one hell of a year, hasn't it? I want 2010 to be a drama free year, is that asking for too much? I don't want to be the constant whiner but damn, I'm tired of hospitals, medicine and tests. Just sick of it all. Ok whining done.

My Dollface is a sick little chica. She has some type of stomach virus. She stayed over Friday nite and if I never see the colors pink and green again, it will be too soon. Chick projectile vomited all over the playroom. Oh it was sooooooo gross. I put her in the tub and grabbed my gloves a bucket, the bleach, and the dustpan. I needed a flippin' shovel for all of that nastiness. I swear I thought I was gonna barf behind cleaning that mess up. But I just kept telling myself to stay strong!!! LOL!!! Took about 45 minutes for me to clean up everything, that was rough I tell ya!!!

Now she has runny, slimy bowels and she threw up Sunday and today. So she missed yet another day of school. This is a record for her with missing school. She doesn't have a fever and she is still energetic. So I'm kinda perplexed as to what it could be. I at first thought it was because she ate too much on Thanksgiving. Her family cooked duck and rabbit along with the other traditional turkey day food and babydoll had some of it all. I think that was a bit much for her stomach to handle but to still be sick 4 days after is kinda worrisome to me. Hopefully this is going to pass and she'll be back to school tomorrow.

I wrapped a few presents tonight and put them under the tree. I like to get started early with wrapping because if you blink, Christmas will be here! Bought some Snoopy Christmas cards cause I love me some Snoopy!!! Yep I'm a grown azz woman who loves The Peanuts Gang to reeses pieces!! Hell didn't I tell yall that my brother called me Woodstock during my treatment , cause I had those little wisps of hair at the time? Pretty funny, well not really lol!!!

Mom has her teeth now and it's taking some getting used to for sure. She was having great difficulty getting them out and her gums are still sore but she is getting the hang of it. She was told to practice talking in front of the mirror because she sounds really funny right now. Everyday she does get better. I can't believe she finally did it. Proud of her because she is super duper afraid of the dentist.

Praying for some things to work out for us. Nothing health related just other things that have put quite a damper on the Brown household. God will work it out, He always does.

One of my friends who lost her job in February, got offered a job last week and she started last week too. AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!! She is sooooo happy and so am I. That's one down, one to go.

I saw THE cutest little doggie on Thanksgiving morning when I went to pick up the pies from B.Square. He was looking out of the window of the car parked next to me so I snapped a pic and you know I wanted to bring him/her home with me. So flippin' cute!

So how many days til Christmas? According to Dollface it's gonna take forever!!!!!!!!! LOL!!!

I wanna see sooooooo many movies right now, so I'm making a list because I will surely forget if I don't, isn't that something? The mind, oh the mind!!!!!!!!!

Ok off to bed, it's now Tuesday morn! LOL!!!

Sunday ramblings

Went to a party last night and surprisingly I didn't have any pain in my stomach! Praise ye the Lord!!!!!!!!! The doc wants me to take it easy and I have to buy this binder to wear around my stomach. It's supposed to hold me in and I guess I won't strain myself too much more than I already have.

Had a very good weekend. Saturday ran around town, took Dollface to her Saturday classes. Saw Darius from the Cup.cake Gal.lery. Dude, (google him) his cupcakes are awesome. He gave me a mixed batch of a dozen. The flavors are yummy. He gave me red velvet *his signature one*, carrot cake, peach cobbler, key lime, *mom said we needed more of this flavor*, double chocolate *Dollface said they were triple chocolate*, mocha chocolate, orange creamcicle and coconut creme. I had red velvet and the peach cobbler and I am telling you baby, these cupcakes are so moist, so yummy so decadent, nothing you've ever experienced from a regular cupcake. The icing alone will have your eyes rolling in the back of your head LOL!!! Just so awesome. His shop is waaaaaaaaayyyyyyyy on the other side of town about a 40-45 minute drive but worth the trip for sure. He was sooooo tired. Poor sweetie! CEO, baker, order taker, decorator, just everything. I'm proud of him. He was laid off from his corporate job in June and opened his cupcake shop a couple of weeks ago. Young brother with a lot of heart. You know I had to support him. Made his dream a reality, nothing beats that! Go Darius Go!!!!

We didn't make it to the lights parade cause I know I wouldn't have made it home in time to go to the party. Traffic was nuts all day yesterday because it was a gorgeous outside! Plus I was just getting over a sore throat, still have that cough and I was not going to stand on the Mag Mile with that lake wind kicking me in the rear! Not for three hours! I was really bummed because you know I'd do anything for that little chica, but I was not feeling paradish at all yesterday. I didn't tell her about it, so she didn't know. Although her cousins, who live right next door to her did in fact go. UH OH!!!!!!! It's six of them, eight with the parents, so they had no room for my Dollface. They already go places with kids in laps, *I so am not trying to put my babydoll in that unsafe situation*. Why would you buy a 7 passenger van for a family of 8? Makes no sense but anyway.

Went to a party last night and of course had a good time! It was one of my gurls' birthday. Lil mama walked up in the joint a blonde!!!!! Her dress was fierce and she had on 5 inch, sparkly stillettos. Just sexay all night long!

Today I went to church and the Women's Club had a bake sale so I baked cookies and I am not pleased. Baked them for the first time with the new oven. Our oven died on us in September. Gotta get used to new temperature settings because this oven gets super hot, I think a little hotter than what the actual dial reads. So I have to scale it back a bit and cut down on the baking time. If I wasn't so tired I would have redone all 4o bags of cookies. They were edible, don't get me wrong, it's just they weren't my best.

So now I'm home just chilling! About to change clothes and start cleaning, getting ready for Turkey day. Washing windows, cleaning baseboards *which I despise*, shampooing the carpet, washing the curtains. All that kinda crap!!! lol!

Bout to go eat a delish little cupcake with this wonderful cup of cinnamon coffee right here. Might even wrap a few Christmas presents later since Dollface has us listening to Christmas music already!!! They've been playing it for a couple of weeks now on the lite 93.9. You should have seen us dodging all info about this but her cousins, of course, told her they were on. She is tooooooo excited!!!! I don't want to burn out before Thanksgiving, ya know? But we love the Peanuts theme song and we were having a good old time the other day while it was on.

Happy Sunday!

Dollface

Made the honor roll! All A's and B's! Proud of her.

The results are in...

The doc says I have a hernia. *sigh*

No more 5k training for me, none at all. She says I must have loosened up the muscle even more while training and that it's a no go for me. She immediately gave me a referral to get a colonoscopy done because of my family background with cancer. She wants to make sure I don't develop any tumors in my colon and with them thinking I was blocked up she is taking no chances. After the colonoscopy I have to see her again and then I have to see my surgeon to get the hernia repaired. You know like fucking surgery AGAIN!!!!

I am soooooooo not feeling my body right now!!!! Didn't I just say this would be the first time in two years that I would not have to deal with being in the hospital during the holidays? I can't deal with this right now. I need a drink and I don't even drink like that. If I did drugs I'd probably be stoned right now but alas I don't do them either. So what vice is left hell, ah yeah gimme some cake, chips, cookies, pie, something!! I need to be comforted. But you know that is only going to make me feel worse than I already do right now. My stomach can't tolerate too much of that crap anymore.

Hell I'm just talking but I do want to go get under the covers right now cause I'm pissed off!!!!!!!!!!
I just wanna screaaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmm!!!!!!!!

AAAARRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!

Take me away Calgon!!!

Almost hump day

Wooo I had way too much weekend! LOL! The party Saturday was bananas!!!!!!! OMG had an absolute ball and felt so totally alive. It was great until....the pain came back. *sigh* Yep at about 12:45am I got that burning feeling in my stomach and me and my girls left right after that. By the time I got to the car, the pain was gone. So weird!!!! Got home a few minutes later and the pain came back, oh my!!!!!!!! Was a complete mess all night long. Took some prescribed meds, did nothing. Took some Tums, nothing happened. Woke up early the next morning and took some more meds and laid it down for a few hours and the pain hasn't been back since. Drank tea and had broth all day Sunday. Took a boatload of vitamins and hydrated myself like crazy and now finally, I'm feeling like myself again. My followup is tomorrow so we will see what the doc says. She called the next day, she cracks me up with her fast talking self! I love my doctors eventhough I hate the hospital with a bloody, burning passion LOL!!!!

Another party to attend this Saturday and then that's it for me and parties hell! I am so not a party, party girl! Shoot I'm too old for all this activity!!!!

Also Saturday is the Lights on The Mag Mile Parade and I'm taking Dollface. We couldn't go last year cause well you know I was kinda laid up having a big ole' surgery and all. Nothing stopping us this year, except if it rains or snows. I am not standing out in the elements for nobody baby!!! Not on purpose anyways!!!

G had his knee scoped and he may possibly need surgery on it. I can be his nurse this year! Whoo hoo!!!! This is the first time in two years that I won't be in the hospital or recovering during the holidays. I am soooooooo beyond stoked baby!!!!!!! So he's waiting on results from it and I guess they will schedule surgery soon. He is so not looking forward to this. I totally understand.

I'm still bummed the hell out about my tur.key tr.ot. Body says no, I'm listening. It hurts me but I know I'm not ready and I will not injure myself by doing something that I know I am not prepared to do. Looked at the calendar and I have not trained since November 4th. THAT SUCKSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!! Gotta get back on the horse man! I'm still on week 4 when I should be on week 7 by now!!!! UGH!!!!!!!!!! Not where I wanna be but I'm not giving up either. One day soon I'll be able to say I did it but it won't be this Turkey day. WAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!! It's ok, I've got to train more so I won't hurt myself and get turned off by the whole idea of running, ya know?

Only a few more days til Thanksgiving and I have oh so much to be thankful for this year. That's why I really wanted to run this race. I thought it would be so appropriate to give thanks for my life by running a race to say I am a true winner, a survivor baby!!!!

I must get my menu together, for right now I have not a clue as to what I really want to serve. I know the basics but not the extras or dessert. Mom said she wants mashed potatoes this year and I'm like huh? Oh yeah she still doesn't have teeth. Been postponed again but she's really learning how to eat without teeth. *cringes a little bit* Poor mom!

Got quite a bit of holiday shopping done in the past few days. The next cc bill is not gonna be cute.

Today in the speaker series class, we had a priest break down the 23rd psalm and he was so funny and had awesome stories to share with us. I could have listened to him for hours. I need to get my prayer life together because it is seriously lacking. I mean like getting back into reading my bible. I got THE coolest bible as a gift from a friend of my mom's and why did my mother request to use it for HER bible study class. I was like no way but she was all begging me and there is no way I'd ever say no to her. Not about sharing a bible LOL!!!

Anyways the priest pretty much ran out of time for the class *an hour* and ended it by saying take it to God in prayer, when you're happy, when you're sad, whenever! Seems simple right? right!

Feels like...

Crap!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OMG I am so disappointed with myself. My body is not agreeing with me at all. I didn't work out not once this week because my mind has really done a job on me.

I was sooooo pumped at first because we had some wonderful weather last week and I wanted to train outside, so I did. HAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!! That was a total bust. I didn't last more than 10 minutes for the whole session. I was completely distracted and I let that deter me from what I was supposed to be doing. I was so damn mad but I told myself that I would do it again the next day and once again I was outside at the park and I could not find my mojo AT ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to cry, I was so upset that I couldn't pull it out. Started off with the brisk 5 minute walk and then I was supposed to jog for 90 seconds or 180 seconds I don't have my training sheet with me and my legs just said, "Hell to the no chick, you ain't about to be pounding on us out here on this damn concrete, WTF dude?" So I stopped jogging and started walking and talking to myself. Giving myself that boost of confidence you know, you can do this, you've been training for 4 weeks, it takes time but you can do this girl! Come on!!! So I started jogging again only for like 10 seconds then I stopped and walked for like 20 seconds and then I started jogging again and this happened maybe 3 times til I just couldn't make myself jog anymore. Tried to jog in the grass hoping that would help and it was just as difficult. *sigh* Ended up walking the entire rest of the way. A nice brisk walk but I was not enthused in the least bit.

Then my body played a cruel trick on me and I wound up in the ER for about 10 hours. Scared the living crap outta me. I had an intense, burning pain in my stomach. Haven't felt this type of pain since last year after the hysterectomy when I had the fluid drained from my stomach. You know what I thought don't you? Yeah, they did a round of tests including an EKG, CT scan, Xray and no the cancer is not back *Thank you Jesus!* They don't know what it was but they did say it was nothing serious that they could find and to follow up with my oncologist, she requested that I go to the ER. I have a scheduled appointment with her for this coming Wed and I'll see her then. So far the pain hasn't returned and I'm oh so glad!!!

That was on Thursday and on Friday we had a retirement party to attend. It was wonderful. A friend of the fam was retiring from 30 years of ER practice. Mom asked her was she gonna get a side job doing some pharmacy work or something and Sharon was like, "Uh, that would be a no!" Dr. S. is retired for good!!!!! Thirty years working for Cook County Hospital in the ER, baby she deserves this break! The music was pumping and drinks were flowing, folks were having a ball and I'm glad I was able to go and celebrate that milestone with everyone.

Today is Saturday and I have another party to attend tonight at a friend's house. It's an Old school blue lights basement party. This is gonna be wild. These folks be off the chain. I forgot my camera last night, changing purses sucks!!!!!!!! But I will for sure have the cam tonight and will be clicking away. Wearing an afro wig if my head will let me, got a bit of a headache still from Thursday, think I'm dehydrated and from drinking that awful mess they make you take before a scan. It always messes with me. I HATE THE HOSPITAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So now as far as the race goes, I think not. That's only 12 days away and I haven't had one decent workout in well over a week and I was already behind. *sigh* This sucks majorly to me and I feel awful about it. What I will do is try again tomorrow but only if I feel good enough because I honestly ain't feeling it. Can yall tell I'm kinda in the dumps about this? Could totally be my effin' mind and no postitive thinking. I need positive energy flowing through these veins *going back to check fatmanrunning's blog for some inspiration* and I also need my damn bff to get off her butt and join me like she said she would, heffa!!!! That ain't gonna happen either! She's going out of town for the job for three days.

Gonna see what the doc says too. I know she told me to get out there and exercise but I haven't told her I'm trying to run a race lol!!! Knowing Dr. R. she might be all for it PLUS I have to get these pounds off of my body!

On the upside I have lost about 6 pounds since I started training. YAY ME!!!!!!!!!

Going to get a bottle of water, gotta stay hydrated. Headache be gone!!!! *Waves magic wand*

Happy Saturday yall!

Help me somebody!!!!!

What am I doing???? My body is soooooo sore!!! Goodness gracious. My legs and knees, lawd ham mercy!!!! I want to quit! I want to quit!!!!!!!! WAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!

I will not quit though, hell to the no!!!!!!!!!! I will not quit! I'm a survivor!!! I beat cancer's ass and I shole can do a 5k. Might be slow as a damn turtle, like a little old lady with her flippin cane but I'm gonna give it my all. I am behind in my training. Like by a week. Missed working out two different times. I made it up, I'm just behind on the schedule is all. *sigh* This is hard to do alone but I can do it. I have to talk to myself while I'm working out. I keep telling myself, "You can do it, don't stop! Yes it's hard but don't you quit, don't give up. You're almost there and think of the rewards." This goes on and on and on til the workout is over and then I feel amazing!!!

I have yet to jog outside. First off I'm scared as hell. This body is so not the best and I am so not graceful. I'm really afraid that I'm going to fall. I am not steady on my feet at all ever since the leg surgery of 2007. *Humph remember that one?* I will test it out in the backyard first before I go out to the park. Gotta register for the race too. Keep trying to talk myself out of actually participating in a "real race". Just doing it for myself. Giving me something else to focus on now.

*Bunny running/jogging a real race, GTFOOH*

Who would have ever thunk it? Not me and that's for sure. Gotta get over this hump. Week four starts in two days. Heaven help, heaven help me please!!!!!!!!!!! Week three is soooooooooo hard!!!!!!!!!! I'm feeling like a failure but then again not, all at the same time. Does that make sense? Oh man I have to read that quote again. How quickly we forget.

Dollface fell off the schoolbus last Friday and hurt her tailbone. I say it wasn't bad because they were having a Halloween party and she didn't want to leave school. That evening I had her soak in the tub in epsom salt and wintergreen alcohol. She said she felt better because we had major events to participate in on Halloween. But now 3 days later her lower back is stiff, sore and swollen. *Major sigh* I looked at it tonight before she went home and girlfriend didn't look so good. Man is this gonna be a crazy year for my babydoll or what? Talked to her mom and she put one of those medicated patches on her back but she said she didn't see any swelling. 0_O

My baby better be ok. She was really uncomfortable this afternoon. It's about to rain again and I think she's feeling it in her body. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for her. I sure hope so, cause if Dollface ain't happy, ain't nobody happy. TRUST.